Sixteen years ago I walked into this little house in Toronto's Beaches neighbourhood after meeting my mother-in-law to-be for the first time. She frightened me to be completely honest, because she was confident, outspoken, and the mother of the man I loved. I was quiet, shy, and had an ego about as squash-able as a … Continue reading The Upside of Divorce
In Hinduism, when a person dies, a year-long mourning period takes effect in which the family does not participate in any celebrations. On the one-year anniversary, Shradda is recognized with a memorial service, in which closure is brought to formal mourning with traditions similar to many other religions: the reading of scriptures and of course, … Continue reading A year-long goodbye
So, I wrote I book, which is actually a collection of blogs–my musings and stories of a two-year-long life now passed. If you're interested in reading some amusing, crass, heartfelt stories, check it out on Amazon.com, and please leave a review! Here I share the preface/introduction to my book, A Single White Female in a Foreign … Continue reading You can’t make this shit up
So I made it back to India, finally, as I always promised myself I would when I felt ready for it again. And I think I’ve learned that I’m never going to feel quite ready to face a fear. I will always have to push myself towards that oncoming train, into the dark shadows of … Continue reading Fear and taxes in Goa India
I write to expose my vulnerability in an effort to relieve it. I write because I am furious for the situations I have voluntarily placed myself in and writing is my way of escaping that anger or trying to understand it. I write because I am trying to know myself better or I’m making up … Continue reading Why Write?
I’ve experienced many relationships whilst travelling. I’ve created them, forged them, negotiated them, deconstructed them, unravelled them, fought them, dissected them, systematically destroyed them, sewn them back together, acquiesced to them. Relationships with food, nature, people, myself, money, security, fear, pain, loss, and grief–dear sweet grief. That’s what travelling does. It gathers up all those … Continue reading “Soil or soul”? Where is home on the road?
I read somewhere recently, “promote what you love rather than bash what you hate.” We become what we focus our attention on after all. So rather than be angry with a man who deserves every ounce of my viciousness, I instead choose to be grateful for what a year with him has taught me about … Continue reading When it’s finally over
An Italian man once said to me, “Colleen, you’re approaching the age of deterioration. You can’t live the way you’re living for too much longer. People won’t receive you as well as you get older. You won’t be as pretty, your body won’t be as fit. That’s how it is for women.” I was 35. … Continue reading The things people say and the risky business of being an aging SWF
I recently added “Forward Thinker” to my character adjectives on my website. To represent it as a proper noun is an attempt to treat my newfound trait with the importance it deserves. And to perhaps use it to replace a less-attractive trait, like Unsuccessful Decision-Maker or Occasional Flosser. It is a New Year’s resolution of … Continue reading How to say goodbye to a year
I’m leaving Surabaya at long last. Of course I’ve left a dozen times over the course of two years to go on holiday but I always came back to my job and my apartment. Real Life was always there waiting for me to resume it. There were a handful of get-out-of-jail-free passes but I resigned … Continue reading Leaving Wonderland, a last night in Indonesia